пятница, 30 января 2009 г.

World's Smallest Working Gun In The World

It fits into your pocket and packs one hell of a punch. Probably the smallest Working Gun In The World. total length of this gun does not exceed 5.5 cm. Made in Switzerland, by SwissMiniGun company, no bigger than 5.5 cm (2.16 inches), it’s a deadly weapon. It fires 2.34mm bullets, with the killing range of 112 meters.

SwissMiniGun can also be more expensive than a luxury Swiss watch. In fact, one of the offered models is made in hand-engraved 18k gold, encrusted with the choicest diamonds (price starts at $50,000)


SwissMiniGun feels sorry for all the US collectors and buyers who can’t lay their hands on this gun. Here is the text from the landing page of the website

“Important information for import into the USA.
The US Department of Justice has mentioned that our miniature revolver, ref. C1ST does not meet with the minimum size prerequisites referring to the Factoring Criteria for Weapons ATF Form 4590.
Therefore, our revolver is not classified as sporting and is not importable into the USA.
We feel sorry for all the US collectors who have showed interest in our miniature revolver.
We promise that our next model will meet with the US Factoring Criteria for Weapons. “

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GOTTA LOVE DRUNK PEOPLE

A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.

‘Not a chance,’ says the husband, ‘it is 3:00 in the morning!’ He slams the door and returns to bed.

‘Who was that?’ asked his wife.

‘Just some drunk guy asking for a push,’ he answers.

‘Did you help him?’ she asks.

‘No, I did not, it is 3:00 in the morning and it is pouring rain out there!’

‘Well, you have a short memory,’ says his wife. ‘Can’t you remember about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!’

The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain. He calls out into the dark,

‘Hello, a re you still there?’

‘Yes,’ comes back the answer. ‘Do you still need a push?’ calls out the husband.

‘Yes, please!’ comes the reply from the dark. ‘Where are you?’ asks the husband.

‘Over here on the swing,’ replied the drunk.

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Changing Paradigm

Imagine you’re at the airport. While you’re waiting for your flight, you notice a kiosk selling cookies. You buy a box, put them in your traveling bag and then you patiently search for an available seat so you can sit down and enjoy your cookies. Finally you find a seat next to a gentleman. You reach down into your traveling bag and pull out your box of cookies. As you do so, you notice that the gentleman starts watching you intensely.

He stares as you open the box and his eyes follow your hand as you pick up the cookie and bring it to your mouth. Just then he reaches over and takes one of your cookies from the box, and eats it! You’re more than a little surprised at this. Actually,you’re at a loss for words. Not only does he take one cookie, but he alternates with you. For every one cookie you take, he takes one.

Now, what’s your immediate impression of this guy? Crazy? Greedy? He’s got some nerve?! Can you imagine the words you might use to describe this man to your associates back at the office? Meanwhile, you both continue eating the cookies until there’s just one left. To your surprise, the man reaches over and takes it. But then he does something unexpected. He breaks it in half, and gives half to you. After he’s finished with his half he gets up, and without a word, he leaves.

You think to yourself, “Did this really happen?” You’re left sitting there dumbfounded and still hungry. So you go back to the kiosk and buy another box of cookies. You then return to your seat and begin opening your new box of cookies when you glance down into your travelling bag. Sitting there in your bag is your original box of Cookies — still unopened.

Only then do you realize that when you reached down earlier, you had reached into the other man’s bag, and grabbed his box of cookies by mistake. Now what do you think of the man? Generous? Tolerant?
You’ve just experienced a profound paradigm shift. You’re seeing things from a new point of view. Is it time to change your point of view?

Now, think of this story as it relates to your life . Seeing things from a new point of view can be very enlightening. Think outside the box. Don’t settle for the status quo. Be open to suggestions. Things may not be what they seem.

This week try questioning ONE paradigm you have been holding onto for years and see the difference.. ….and make it a great week

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Due To Budget Cuts, This Is Your New Cubicle










NEW OFFICE POLICY

Dress Code:

1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary.

2) If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise.

3) If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise.

4) If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.

Sick Days:

We will no longer accept a doctor’s statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

Personal Days:

Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturdays & Sundays.

Bereavement Leave:

This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend the funeral arrangements in your place. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.

Bathroom Breaks:

Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the ‘Chronic Offenders’ category. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sectioned under the company’s mental health policy.

Lunch Break: (Love this one)

* Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy.

* Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.

* Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that’s all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation
and input should be directed elsewhere.

The Management

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